Arrrrgh, WTH?!

        In 2 weeks i have my Cardiac Catheter i've been trying to get everything with the kids and Donald situated in advance. Anywho, i called the nurse this morning asking if Isabella would be able to stay with me after post-op because of us still nursing and they said no. They tried to tell me to just pump and bf her that way. I tried to explain that i can't pump; and i never have been able to, and they were just basically too bad. That Donald will have to take care of her bc i will not be allowed, Plain as that. WHAT THE HELL!? I don't even know what to do right now. I've talked to LLLinc and they're told me hwo i need to talk to ect, and even the nurse at the hospital said to contact LLLinc and WIC. But really, what are they going to be able to do? This is ridiculous. I know that i'm being treated unfairly and mainly because she's not a teeny tiny infant and she is now technically a toddler they don't want to be bothered by it. But how difficult would it be for them to help me out?

          I go to WIC in a couple days to attempt to pump again for the up-teenth-billionth time! They said theyre going to hook me up with one that i can take home and see if i can pump enough for 2 day feedings and about 4 night feedings. Hopefully this will work. I've never used the Medela Brand pump before and it's supposed to be the best. I do hope i can get some out, at least that way Bella can just drink from the cup if she really wanted milk. I know it's not me, but it's all i can do. :(.....

         This really irks me though. I wonder if this one day is going to stop Isabella from EBF....part of me wouldn't mind that; but another part of me doesn't want that to happen yet. I know i need to worry more about my health and not what she wants. But i don't want to just deny her of me. It just seems wrong to me now. I have noticed more so with Isabella than with Skylair i have became an AP. And it doesn't bother me. It seems to bother other people at times; but eh, what does that matter, right? As long as me and my family are content with our AP who care what others have to say.

        I just don't understand why the hospital is so gung-ho about denying my request. It just seems wrong. I honestly don't think it has anything to do with a medicinal issue. It's all about Liability. And that is just plain sad.

        I hope to science (yes, i'm atheist. so what.) that i can actually get enough milk pumped out this week with the help from WIC. Bc Izzy needs her mommy milk. I've never ever had any luck with pumping before; it's been a total nightmare!!!! Maybe it has to do with my technique. Or maybe the brand of pump. I mean; how effective can an Even-flo; a formula company, breast pump really be? Not too effective in my experiences with my two children.......I've talked to Lactation Consultant after Lactation Consultant, and to no avail they say i should be able to pump. So; why can't i?.........

       Hopefully this surgery runs smoothly; i don't see why it wouldn't; and Isabella is fine and content during that time as well......because if she's not, how in the world do they expect me to make a full recovery. Anybody have any insight they'd like to enlighten me with?